Cop3 Practical Intro Pt.1

My first rough attempt of the introduction to my film trailer was a disaster, as it didn't wow my peers during the critical analysis.

This is the clip.

In this I used 3D text and used point lighting to set up a 3 point lighting, so as the title entered the scene it was slowly lit up. This looks nice however it's not breathtaking, also becomes boring as it takes too long and has no impact!
I need to look at some movie introductions and some trailers to see how they got the impact to make the audience to watch the film!
One I have looked at is The Dark Knight (2008)

The trailer starts with non diegetic sound from the character "The Joker" as clips of the "Batman" are shown. The voice over has a serious impact as its about how the "Batman" changed things in Gotham from the first film and about how they are both freaks of the city of Gotham.
The Background music is full of bass beats to have an impact after each sentence by "The Joker"
The second section of the trailer is very dramatic as this is where the action scenes start to grab the audience, so it has the introduction of "The Joker" followed explosions caused by "The Joker" showing that he's the enemy!  This is then followed by what the "Batman" should do by saving Gotham.
The final section is the most interesting as it leaves an impact on the audience, it has batman riding on his motorbike charging at the joker, with the voice over of "Hit me, Hit me, HIT ME!". After "Batman" goes past him and apppears to have crashed, the scene cuts to black with a voice over "Why don't we put a smile on that face of yours" cuts back to "The Joker" turning around (followed by laughter).
Into the title of the film.
Throughout this the background music was powerful and dramatic to reflect what was happening.  In the start of the second section the music was building up with small breaks from the voice overs, another point about the sound is that at the end with the charge at the joker, there is only bass.  Therefore making it epic and memorable.
The title gets a powerful introduction with its music to gain emphasis to the film.

From this, combined with the work I've done I will need to improve my work a lot in order to get an reaction from my audience and make them want to watch the film!